Several years ago, I applied for and got a contract writing position with a temp agency. I had answered an online ad, been given the information, and went on the interview. It was an exciting opportunity with the possibility that the contract would eventually turn into full-time employment. The agency called me shortly after the interview and told me that the company wanted to hire me. All I had to do was to sign their contract, return it, and begin work at the client company.
When I had initially talked to the representative of the agency, I was given the details of their expectations and what they would provide in return. When I got the contract and read it, I discovered that there were discrepancies in what I was promised and what the contract laid out. From my perspective, it was duplicitous, unfair, and outrageous. Not only had I been completely misled, but the tenets I would be expected to conform to were out-of-line with standard business practices.
After talking to several different representatives of the company, I came to believe that it was not just one employee putting forward this doctrine, but the entire company. I was angry.
I sat down and drafted a reply to go with my rejection of their offer. When I had finalized it, I handed it to my husband to read. His reply after reading it: “Wow, you really know how to tell someone to ‘go f**k themselves’ without saying those exact words.”
I like to think I am a good writer. I work at it daily, and have for decades. But what made my rejection letter so powerful was the energy behind the anger I felt at the contemptuous, misogynistic, and exploitative way I was being treated. The anger fueled a mighty power in me (one that we all have) to stand up for myself and what I felt was right.
This energy (power) sits dormant in us most of the time. It comes out when anger ignites it. But the way it expresses itself depends upon the choices of its origin. We can become destructive to ourselves and others, lash out in inappropriate ways, or avow/take revenge. These reactions quell the power, but they only serve to hurt yourself and others.
There is another option. We can also saddle that anger and steer it into more positive directions. My rejection letter set forth my indignation while maintaining a respect for the other parties (deserved or not). I stated my case in strong, reinforced language without resorting to the tactics of which I disagreed with.
This power can be used to defend yourself, motivate, set boundaries, stimulate action, create great works of art, and many other positive ends. The choice is yours. Do you want to release anger in a seething fury, or do you want to direct this very potent energetic force toward creating good in your life?
If you don’t know where to start, here is a great article I found that can help you out.
The forceful energy that is anger can be used for good or for unscrupulous means. You must choose one or other because denying it doesn’t exist does not work. What choice will you make?
Copyright 2022, Monica Nelson