Tag Archives: change

A Small Push Toward Expressing Your Creativity

By Monica Nelson When it comes to creativity, there are three types of people – people who fearlessly exploit their creativity, people who forever deny their creativity, and a large population of people who admit to their creativity but are reticent to use it. Think of all the famous historical figures – artists, scientists, inventors, business people, architects – these belong to the first group. The second group, that denies their creativity, are the people who Abraham Maslow would characterize as on the Physiological level, or even the Safety level, of his hierarchy of needs. They are consumed by survival. If you are reading this, you are probably in the … Continue reading

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Stop Criticizing Your Inner Critic – 4 Steps to Analyze and Follow Critical but Stellar Advice

By Monica Nelson I read a lot of self-help and psychologically based advice. It’s served me well, and helped me to become a better person. But there are times when I question consensus views on certain positions. One of those is the popular belief that your inner critic is a bad thing. Until recently universal opinion has been that your inner critic is bad, and should be silenced. This is the part of you that is attempting to cut you down and make you believe you are worthless. The key here is that your inner critic is part of you. If you label this inner critic as bad or undesirable, … Continue reading

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Taking on Too Much Responsibility – 4 Tips to Equanimity

By Monica Nelson I was working in the kitchen the other morning with the TV going on in the the other room. It was a child’s cartoon with a clear message, teaching its young viewers the need to be responsible. This is a message that demands attention, and over the last twenty or thirty years has been sounded with great veracity. Not only to children, but to those who have grown up and still refuse to become responsible. While true that it is a necessary lesson for many people, there is a flip side – a downside to it that we have not yet come to recognize. That flip side … Continue reading

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Conquering Discipline – 6 Steps to Move Beyond Just Do It

By Monica Nelson Years ago, a certain popular footwear company inferred to its customers that athletic prowess was a combination of their shoes and the drive to Just Do It. A reference to change through discipline, that line struck a chord with people so much that the slogan remains part of our culture today. But it’s one thing to say just do it. And a whole other thing to put that action into practice. Some background first. There are two types of change – involuntary, or the kind that is forced upon you, and voluntary, the kind you choose for yourself. We see a behavior in ourselves that is unwise, … Continue reading

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What We Miss When We Don’t Experience All of Life

By Monica Nelson “Happy birthday to you.” Julie looked up to see Reggie and a bevy of their co-workers approaching her desk with her favorite frozen yogurt cake. She smiled broadly taking in every detail. Her friends’ accolades and hugs buoyed her spirits. She relished every micro-second of what was happening. It was not so earlier in the day. Reggie came scurrying up to her desk, “Joan is looking for you. Her meeting with John is in five minutes. She needs those figures now.” Julie let out a slow guttural sound. She was sure Reggie recognized the Joan groan, “Nothing I do pleases that woman.” Reggie didn’t answer. Instead he … Continue reading

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You Can Change Other People, But Not in the Way You Think You Can

By Monica Nelson We’ve all heard how you can not change another person – that if you cannot accept someone’s behavior, your only option is to no longer associate with them. This is important advice if the behavior you cannot accept is violent or otherwise threatening. But in everyday relationships where unacceptable behavior is hurtful but not threatening or simply annoying, you do possess the ability to change that person’s behavior. But it is not in the way you think you can. When people want to change another person’s behavior, they typically resort to nagging, manipulation, or controlling behavior of their own. This type of solution is not a solution. … Continue reading

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The Art of Transformation: 5 Absolute “Get Ready for Change” Musts

By Monica Nelson After a recent visit to the doctor for a physical, I was faced with a do or die decision. She had been telling me for a couple of years that I needed to stop ignoring my health, and make some changes. This time the numbers were too significant to ignore. She lectured me on the need to change my diet (lose weight) and start/maintain a consequential exercise program. It was too important to my quality of life to put aside any more. I had to make a transformation. Whether we face this kind of ultimatum, or we simply desire to make a change, transformation is necessary. It … Continue reading

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The Double-Edged Sword of Secrets; How They Hurt, How They Help

By Monica Nelson I have a secret that I’ve held for years. It’s an embarrassing incident that, to this day, makes me cringe and want to duck out of sight for the rest of my life. What I am doing instead is writing about it. A decision that is at the same time fool-hearty and freeing. I wrote about the event in the introduction portion of a current project. I realize that my secret will be out there for everyone to see, but it is necessary to the context of the book. Outlining the contents made me realize that the root of my interest in the subject came from the … Continue reading

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Explosion or Expression, Anger Gone Wrong

By Monica Nelson Three years ago there was an incident that took place at Bellevue College in Washington state. Students in a classroom got into a verbal altercation during a video presentation in class. The verbal exchanges were fierce and escalated quickly. It ended when one of the students attacked the other with a knife. What is not surprising, and an ironic twist, is that the class the students were attending was an anger management class. Anger is an emotion. When we think of anger, we generally think of it as a negative emotion. But anger can be a healthful and positive emotion. It helps us diffuse a build-up of … Continue reading

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Life’s Illusion, and More Challenge From Linguistic Relativity

I love reading P.M.H. Atwater. She has some way-out-there kind of stuff, but stimulating. And thought provoking. As of late, I have been reading Near-Death Experiences, The Rest of the Story. In the chapter on shifts in perception, she talks about Benjamin Lee Whorf and the question he posed many years ago: “Does the language we speak shape the way we think?” I find this question fascinating. As a writer, words are my bread-and-butter. They are the tools I use to communicate the message I want people to get. I am very careful when I choose my words, picking out the word with just the right inference. I have a synonym … Continue reading

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