Category Archives: Discerning Your World

Stop Criticizing Your Inner Critic – 4 Steps to Analyze and Follow Critical but Stellar Advice

By Monica Nelson I read a lot of self-help and psychologically based advice. It’s served me well, and helped me to become a better person. But there are times when I question consensus views on certain positions. One of those is the popular belief that your inner critic is a bad thing. Until recently universal opinion has been that your inner critic is bad, and should be silenced. This is the part of you that is attempting to cut you down and make you believe you are worthless. The key here is that your inner critic is part of you. If you label this inner critic as bad or undesirable, … Continue reading

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Taking on Too Much Responsibility – 4 Tips to Equanimity

By Monica Nelson I was working in the kitchen the other morning with the TV going on in the the other room. It was a child’s cartoon with a clear message, teaching its young viewers the need to be responsible. This is a message that demands attention, and over the last twenty or thirty years has been sounded with great veracity. Not only to children, but to those who have grown up and still refuse to become responsible. While true that it is a necessary lesson for many people, there is a flip side – a downside to it that we have not yet come to recognize. That flip side … Continue reading

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Valuing Faith, in Whatever Form It Takes

By Monica Nelson I come from a Christian background. And I owe a lot to that Christian upbringing. One benefit that I am truly thankful of every day is how my spiritual beginnings instilled within me a strong and vibrant faith. I bristle when I hear people put down anyone’s faith as misplaced, of no real value, or even harmful in any sort of respect. This is my personal take on faith and its value to you as an individual, and society as a whole. What is faith?   This is where most of the problem lies – in the definition. Ask any two people you choose what faith is, … Continue reading

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Which Side of the Self-Righteous Indignation Movement are You on?

By Monica Nelson You have a choice. Everyday you make this choice over and over. This choice, how you express yourself, how you guide your own actions, affects not only your destiny but the lives and destinies of others. The choice I am talking about is how you treat the people you come in contact with. Whether it’s family you see every day, or others that play a large part in (or simply brush by) your own life, or whether it is some anonymous stranger you come in contact with online – how you make this choice has consequences beyond finite understanding. For a couple decades now, I’ve noticed a … Continue reading

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How to Handle Conflicting Information – 5 Steps to Peaceful Progress

By Monica Nelson To those of us who seek out counsel and advice from valued sources, looking for the answers to our personal life questions, it can be a bit confusing sometimes. Conflicting advice abounds in our information-laden world. One example might be the question of whether or not it is appropriate to gain wealth. On the one hand you find information that suggests that there is nothing wrong with making money. Often such advice uses as support the fact that once you have a certain amount of wealth, you will be able to share it with those who are less fortunate. On the other hand, you will find advice that … Continue reading

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If you find it hard to forgive, take a radical approach

By Monica Nelson For me, forgiveness is a high aspiration, as you can probably tell if you have read my blog for any length of time. But putting it into practice (and making it stick) is one of the most difficult of my pursuits. If you are with me in this same exasperating goal, you will want to listen to what Colin Tipping has to say in his book, Radical Forgiveness. Discovering this book has (and I don’t say this lightly) changed my life. I hope sharing this with you will work miracles for you too. I will attempt as comprehensive a summary as I can below. In addition, I … Continue reading

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You Can Change Other People, But Not in the Way You Think You Can

By Monica Nelson We’ve all heard how you can not change another person – that if you cannot accept someone’s behavior, your only option is to no longer associate with them. This is important advice if the behavior you cannot accept is violent or otherwise threatening. But in everyday relationships where unacceptable behavior is hurtful but not threatening or simply annoying, you do possess the ability to change that person’s behavior. But it is not in the way you think you can. When people want to change another person’s behavior, they typically resort to nagging, manipulation, or controlling behavior of their own. This type of solution is not a solution. … Continue reading

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A Day of Reckoning on National Relaxation Day – Your Lifelong Blueprint to Work/Life Balance Every Day

By Monica Nelson National Relaxation Day is August 15. I just googled “How to relax on National Relaxation Day.” The search came up with over 7 and one-half million results. I consider this a great paradox. And an indication of something really wrong in the way we live our lives now. Think about it – why on earth do we need 7,590,000 articles giving us advice on how to relax? Is it possibly because we have no clue how to do that? [My apologies to my non-USA readers. You can stop reading now – you already get the logic of a healthy work/life balance. And you practice it. I am … Continue reading

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Life on Overwhelm? 6 Tips to Put Your Life Back On Course

By Monica Nelson We live in fast-moving times. Technology has grown faster in the last 100 years than it has in the entire course of prior human existence. What’s more, it seems to grow faster and faster. Along with this advance comes an ever-growing set of responsibilities and duties. It is not unusual to find yourself overwhelmed. When it seems like life is demanding too much of you, you can become paralyzed and ineffective at doing anything. Before that happens, take a moment to hone up on what you can do to avoid it. 1. Breathe. Stop for a moment and simply breathe. Deep, slow breaths. Breathing will allow you … Continue reading

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What Embarrassing Moments (and Your Response to Them) Tell Us About Ourselves

By Monica Nelson It’s one of those moments. Instant dread fills your heart, prickles of red burn in tiny pinpricks on your face, and you wish with all your might that you could reverse what just happened. Alas, you know better. You’ve just committed a faux pas – a blunder of magnanimous proportions (at least in your own mind). What comes next? How do you handle the moments, or even days, following such a lapse in apparently good judgment? When these situations happen to us, and they do happen, more than once in our lives, how people respond is a significant indicator of who they are as a person. In … Continue reading

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